Ted, in case you hadn't already guessed, is the newest member of the household. Friends of friends found him in the middle of the street during a wicked thunderstorm a couple of weeks ago. They tried to find his owners, but were unsuccessful. They couldn't take him in permanently, so they were trying to find a new home. We went just to visit him and maybe pet him some before going back to our house full of cats, but after meeting the big retard, we couldn't not take him in. He was dropped off last Friday for a visit, just to see if he would fit in, and by Saturday morning, we had already named him and purchased an entire pet store worth of toys and treats and other assorted Ted accessories. Soooooo, yeah. I guess we've got ourselves a dog alright.

We took him to the vet on Sunday, and the vet said he's probably around 2 or 3 years old. It's hard to tell for sure because the vet thinks he's been on the street for a while. Poor Ted is pretty malnourished right now, and seriously underweight, but we're working on it. In no time he'll be the giant, dopey dog he was meant to be. Right now he only weighs around 65 lbs. The vet said that he should gain at least another 40 or so to bring him up to over a hundred. Jesus, you know? He'll be a monster.

If the truth be told, I wasn't all that jazzed about a dog in general. We've been talking about getting one forever, but it wasn't in any serious way. I always thought that if I were ever to get a dog, it would be one of those little pocket dogs, like a Yorkie or something. But then Ted just kinda showed up out of the blue, all sad and pitiful and in need of a home and some love and a sandwich or fifty, and how could I say no, you know? I mean, seriously, how would that have been possible? Is he not not the cutest, sweetest, dopiest ,little guy ever? Well. "Little" is not exactly the most accurate description. "Ginormous" hits a little closer to the mark, I think. Even underweight, Ted is a pretty big guy. The vet thinks he's a lab mix of some sort, probably with some Rottweiler in him. Personally, I think Ted is the product of an unholy union between a lab and a pony. He rests his head on the kitchen table, he's so damn tall. We keep him in the laundry room during the day, and we put a baby gate in the doorway so he won't wander freely in the basement. But even though the baby gate is at least 4 feet tall, Ted showed us today just how easily he can leap over it.

But despite his bighugeness, and the separation-anxiety-fueled attempts to get out of the laundry room, the destructive and LOUD attempts, I might add, he's still our guy. He's big and clumsy, decidedly dopey, well-meaning and sweet to a fault, he doesn't fuck with the cats, and he just wants to play fetch all day in the backyard. We need to work on the whole obedience thing because he only remembers to sit or lie down about half the time. He's trying, though! So that's something. After he gets fixed, we'll look into some actual obedience class.

The pictures up top are not the greatest. They were taken the night he was found in the street. When he's a little healthier and shinier, we'll take some new pictures to share.

At any rate, that's my new dog Ted. Isn't he a doll?

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