Anyway.

Have you ever noticed how some people will just blurt whatever the fuck comes to mind regardless of how their words might effect someone else? How they have the uncanny ability to both notice and comment upon the ONE thing about which a person is most sensitive? I mean, sure, I lack an inner monologue, but the only discomfort I cause with my unfortunate outbursts is for myself.

The reason I bring this up is because I have a claw.

I got my claw after an unfortunate incident involving a 1500 degree oven thingie years ago. And sometimes, upon noticing my claw, people are less than polite with their comments and questions.

"OH GROSS! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR NAIL!?!"

"EWWW! WHAT HAPPENED?!"

"SICK! WHY DON'T YOU GET THAT FIXED!?"

Oh, see, FUCK YOU.

I don't mind when they ask about it politely. I don't mind if they are considerate with their comments. I just can't fucking STAND when they blurt out these incredibly rude things with nary a thought as to how it might affect me. My claw doesn't really bother me anymore, but STILL. At one time it DID bother me. And I make an effort to not mention other people's deformities, or features which I might find repellant. It's not like I scream across a room "OH MY GOD! WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR POT BELLY?!!" "HOLY SHIT!! YOUR EYES LOOK TOTALLY CROSSED!" "HEY LOOK, EVERYBODY! IT'S A FLIPPER BABY!" Why do I not do these things?! BECAUSE IT'S NOT FUCKING POLITE, AND STUFF LIKE THAT MIGHT HURT SOMEONE’S FEELINGS..

Ahem.

ANYway.

As I've mentioned, my claw doesn't really bother me. In fact, I'm rather fond of it these days. But the fact remains that these people, these rude people shouting impertinent questions at me about my claw, they don't KNOW that I'm okay with my deformed and fucked up finger. They NEED to be taught a lesson. And I, dear friends, am just the person to provide this education. I am just the girl to make damn certain they think twice, and even three times, before uttering a potentially hurtful question.

"Oh my GOD! What is WRONG with your nail!?"

"I got hurt in an accident"

"Wow! That's so creepy! Can't you get it fixed?! It's just so...GROSS!"

"I...I...I can't"

"Oh. Oh, well, um, how did it happen?"

"I...I can't talk about it. It's just so hard"

"Oh, well, okay, it's not a big deal. Anyway, how-"

"THERE WAS AN ACCIDENT, YOU SEE!"

"Oh, um, huh. Well, alright..."

"The accident that...that...the accident that...*gasp*...KILLED MY FATHER!! *sob*"

"Oh, oh dear! That's, um, my god, how awful! Yes, well, I should be going..."

"IN A FIERY WRECKAGE OF TWISTED STEEL AND BURNING RUBBER, MY FATHER PERISHED! AND I AM LEFT WITH THIS DEFORMITY AS A REMINDER OF HIM, AND OF MY OWN MORTALITY! SO I SHALL NEVER HAVE THIS FINGER FIXED, FOR I MUST ALWAYS REMEMBER MY FATHER!!"

"Wow, hey, that's, um...huh. Yeah, look, I should REALLY be on my way..."

"LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT ITS TWISTED, DEFORMED BEAUTY! LET THIS SERVE AS A REMINDER OF YOUR OWN MORTALITY! CHERISH YOUR LIFE AND YOUR LOVED ONES! LET MY CLAW SHOW YOU THE LIGHT! KISS IT! KISS MY CLAW!!"

"OH GOD! NO! I, uh, I have to GO!"

"REMEMBER ME! REMEMBER MY FATHER! REMEMBER HIS BLEEDING, TWISTED, CHARRED CORPSE! COME BACK! I HAVE MORE SCARS! I CAN SHOW YOU THE JAGGED INCISION ACROSS MY BACK FROM THE PLANE CRASH THAT TOOK MY MOTHER!! COME BAAAAAAAAACK!!"

Tee hee.

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