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Idiot Links!
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"Yeah, I didn't really have a pithy, moving entry planned. This is as pithy as it gets, I'm afraid." 2008-01-05 - 1:08 a.m. "Did you already go to the grocery store?" "Yep. I did it yesterday after work." "Oh. Did you not see the list I made of stuff I needed?" "Yeah, I saw it. I got the things that I had already included on the master list, but I didn't think you were serious about some of the other items." "Didn't think I was serious? What are you talking about?" "I just thought you were joking around. I mean, yogurt? Like you ever eat yogurt." "Uh, I eat yogurt all the time." "No you don't! I've never seen you eat yogurt even once!" "I bring yogurt to work for lunch, dumb ass." "Oooohhhh. Okay, so that's why I've never seen you eat it! Now I get why you had it on the list." "Yeah, so, could you get it the next time you're at the store?" "Oh, totally! I'll be sure to add it to the list." "And what about toilet paper?" "What about it?" "Did you get it from the store?" "Oh that. Yeah, no." "Okay, um, but you know we're almost out, right? So, could you maybe get some?" "Are you sure you want me to?" "What do you mean? Of course I want you to." "Well, I was wondering if instead of toilet paper, we might want to go in a different direction." "..." "Yes? No? What do you think?" "Go in a different direction? What the hell does that even mean? A different direction?!" "Well, I was thinking--" "No, you know what, don't tell me. I don't want to know. Just--could you get some toilet paper please?" "Yeah, okay, I mean, if you're not going to be open to change..." "Open to--what the hell? No, no I'm not open to change when it comes to using toilet paper. Could you just get some please?" "Okay, okay, you don't have to yell. I'll get some toilet paper. I was just giving you options." "Options?! We don't need options when it comes to toilet paper. It is not now, nor will it ever be OPTIONAL, okay?! Just get the toilet paper and the other groceries, and let's leave it at that." "Geez, okay, I get it! I don't know why you're getting mad. I said I'd get some toilet paper, and I'll get your stupid yogurt, so cool your jets, chief. " "Alright, thank you. Oh, and could you pick up some deodorant for me while you're at the store?" "Actually, about that, I was thinking--" "Okay, you know what, never mind about the damn groceries. I'll go grocery shopping this week, okay? Jesus." "Are you sure? Because I totally don't mind going. I just had some suggestions about some different things we could try. I don't know why you're so resistant to change." "Just go away now." The key to getting out of an onerous task is to do it once with a great deal of enthusiasm, but very poorly. Guaranteed, you'll never be required to do it again. |
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