"You should see what the hail did to my car!"
"Oh no! Is it in bad shape?"
"It's awful! It looks like someone took a baseball bat to it!"
"Are you sure the damage wasn't the result of a baseball bat? I mean, maybe everyone you've ever pissed off used the hail storm as a cover and took turns whacking the hell out of your car in a festival of cathartic violence."
"What?"
"Oh, nothing. But, so, yeah...your car! Oh no!"
"I know! It's awful!"

Ah well. Perhaps it's for the best that my most ingenious, evil ideas never occur to me until well after the window of opportunity has passed.

last - next