Well.

Maybe tomorrow. Probably. But not right now because I'm super tired and I'm going to attempt to get to sleep at a reasonable hour. I know, right? Shut up! But it's true!

I will leave you with this important piece of advice:

If you are wearing linen pants with a sash, do not tie the sash into a double knot. If you do tie the sash into a double knot, do not drink your weight in Diet Coke at lunch time. If you do end up drinking your weight in Diet Coke at lunchtime, do not get stuck in a two hour meeting immediately after lunch. And if you do get stuck in a two hour meeting immediately after lunch after drinking your weight in Diet Coke and wearing pants with a double knotted sash, then carry a fucking pair of scissors with you or you will be sorrier than you've ever been in your whole entire life.

*****

On the plus side, I did manage to get the goddamn sash off just in the nick of time. On the negative side, I shudder to imagine what the co-workers in the restroom thought as they heard my vicious swearing, violent stomping and deranged dance of desperation as I tried to get the goddamn sash untied.

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