*****

FUCK YOU, BBC America, you've done it again. You made me love Green Wing, and now I'm hooked with no way of getting my fix. I did manage to download the entire first series, so that was nice, but I can't find all the episodes of Series 2 to save my fucking life. I only have Episodes 2, 6 and 8. What the FUCK am I supposed to do with THAT, BBC America?! I CAN'T WATCH THEM OUT OF ORDER, YOU KNOW. WHY DON’T YOU EVER SHOW AN ENTIRE SERIES?! WHY DON’T YOU EVER SHOW THE EPISODES IN ORDER?! I've tried to download the rest of the episodes to no avail. Every torrent I find for the other episodes is dead, goddamnit, DEAD. I am so very bitter. It's like having cigarettes, but no lighter, which, as any smoker will tell you, is way the fuck worse than not having any cigarettes at all. The three episodes I have just sit there taunting me, mocking my addiction. So. Very. Bitter.

And YOU, SciFi Channel, you're pissing me off, too. I watched your new show, Eureka, and while I found it entertaining, it pissed me off that there weren't any girl scientists. Where are all the girl scientists, goddamnit? And all the little genius kids in the town are boys, too. Where are the genius girls, you assholes? Fuck you, SciFi Channel. Although, to be fair, part of why I'm so angry about the lack of girl scientists is because I'd just read this article before watching Eureka. Had I not just read the article, I might not be quite so worked up. But still.

And on a completely unrelated topic, you know what’s weird? I have a heart murmur. Or arrhythmia. Something like that. I don’t know. Whatever it’s called. It’s not a big deal or anything. It doesn’t really affect me one way or another. The only reason I know about it is because it was discovered while I was undergoing some tests in order to prepare for surgery a couple of years ago. (Of course, by “a couple,” I actually mean “ten.” Shit. Ten? No, wait. 14. Double shit. 14 years? Really? Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Time flies, no? I saw this saying the other day, “Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like bananas.” I thought it was kind of funny. Not like rolling in the aisle funny, but more like a little smirk funny. But I digress. Although, shit, 14 years? Man.) Like I said, it’s no big deal. Occasionally my heart will skip a beat or flutter or something, but other than that, I’m not even aware of it. And really, it only does it when I’m overtired or have had too much caffeine or something. The weird part is, though, that the fluttering is the same sort of fluttering you feel when you’re scared. So whenever it happens, it’s like I’m frightened, but I’m not really. Which is weird. I mean, I feel scared, but I’m not actually scared. Odd, no? I think, at any rate. And pertinent to nothing. I just happened to think about it because right now my heart is flipping out. Too much stress, too much caffeine, not enough sleep, etc. So it’s fluttering away madly, and physically, it feels like I’m terrified, but in reality, I’m calm, cool and collected. Weird.

I’m going up to see my parents this weekend. My dad is in the hospital again, and things are a little scary at present. He’s not been able to keep anything down, not even water, and he’s still on cumadin (coumadin? Somethingadin.) for the blood clots, and I guess not eating or drinking when one is on cumadin is a bad thing. Or maybe it’s the blood pressure medication and the diuretic which is causing the trouble. I don’t know, dude. I’m a little hazy on the details because all the information I have is coming from my sister who heard it from my mom who, as I mentioned before, is befuddled and stressed out and not thinking or communicating clearly. At any rate, he was in pretty bad shape when they brought him in, but he’s had a couple of transfusions of whole blood and of plasma alone (Transfusions, see, of blood people donated. Blood that saved his life. GO DONATE BLOOD.) and he’s doing a little better. Which, on the one hand, is totally good news for him and for us, but on the other hand, is shitty news for the nurses and hospital staff. My father is a cantankerous fucker under the best of circumstances, and a complete shit when he’s sick. At least when he’s at death’s door, he’s a quiet and biddable patient. But as soon as he starts to feel better, watch out. He’s uncooperative and crabby, won’t let the doctors or nurses interrupt his History Channel programs in order to do tests, won’t let them put anyone else in his room, won’t let them leave the door to the room open, and won’t be a good patient in general.

I can’t really say as I blame him for his poor attitude. I’m not the best of patients myself. I once checked myself out of the hospital AMA because I just couldn’t take being there anymore. I’d had kidney stones, and as soon as they’d gone about their business and left the building as it were, I was ready to go home. The hospital people wanted to keep me another night for observation, but I wasn’t having it. I told them all to fuck off, put my street clothes on, and hit the road. I’d like to say that my rotten attitude and general pissness was a result of all the morphine coursing though my system and of the complete exhaustion from not having slept in several days, but I’d be lying. I just don’t like feeling ill, and I will take it out on anyone in a five mile radius. I’m awesome like that. So when I hear about my dad being a shitty patient, I totally understand. In an odd way, I even take a little pride in his pissy behavior. I don’t know. It makes me laugh, what can I say. Poor nurses, though.

And on another semi-unrelated note, I find it entertaining that my dad refers to his portable IV as his “robot.” The nurses keep correcting him, and he keeps telling them to fuck off. “Come on, robot, let’s go take a walk. You just ignore those nurses.” Heh. Dad is a little bit awesome in his orneriness.

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