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2008-03-31 - My Name is Idiot-Milk
2008-03-21 - Foooooorrrrrrd Windstaaaaaaarrrrr
2008-03-17 - You can dooo eeet
2008-02-08 - Biz-eh redux
2008-02-03 - Goddamn cats
2008-01-05 - Yeah, I didn't really have a pithy, moving entry planned. This is as pithy as it gets, I'm afraid.
2008-01-04 - Sing or I'll go home and kill all your mommies!
2008-01-03 - Sing or I'll go home and kill all your mommies!
2007-11-30 - Farno, farno
2007-11-26 - Biz-eh.
2007-10-31 - -
2007-10-26 - Germs, Poop and Why Roommates Suck, by Idiot-Milk
2007-10-09 - Burning river, shmurning river... Cleveland is awesome!
2007-09-26 - Life is skittles and life is beer.
2007-09-25 - You go, Ted!
2007-09-19 - It's not that I drink a lot, it's the infrequency with which I do it that causes me trouble.
2007-09-13 - Conversations from the FunHouse, Installment the Second.
2007-09-10 - It's like I hate myself. Like I hate myself, and I'm always subconsciously plotting ways to screw with myself or something.
2007-09-09 - Bounce Bounce Doggie Bounce
2007-08-29 - Fucking CRABBY.
2007-08-21 - Important lesson
2007-07-20 - I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII IXV XV XVI XVII XVIII wheels on a big rig
2007-07-09 - I'm the Hiphopopotamus and my rhymes are bottomless.
2007-06-19 - This used to be my playground
2007-06-09 - I don't know, but it's delicious.
2007-06-01 - Godspeed, Moon Cat.
2007-05-02 - A repo man is always intense.
2007-05-02 - On not being dead and odd things in unexpected places
2007-05-02 - On not being dead and odd things in unexpected places
2007-04-12 - -
2007-03-14 - Heinz - It's America's Favorite Ketchup
2007-02-14 - -
2007-01-14 - Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
2007-01-05 - Desserts shouldn't taste like pain
2007-01-03 - "Flush it down the toilet!" "We can't flush it down the toilet; we don't have a duck!" "Oh. Good point."
2006-12-31 - Catching up on correspondence
2006-12-28 - -
2006-12-22 - slacker
2006-12-12 - Well, shit.
2006-12-11 - Drake is a muther fucking ass shithole.
2006-11-17 - -
2006-11-16 - Medium spicy
2006-11-15 - -
2006-11-15 - A little bit of this, a little bit of that, and not one damn bit of it especially exciting. So it goes.
2006-10-31 - In which Our Diarist discusses a number of Random Things for no particular reason other than She Feels Like It and Sleep eludes Her once again.
2006-10-27 - `Ware the German techno
2006-10-19 - -
2006-10-12 - -
2006-10-05 - Another lost opportunity
2006-09-27 - -
2006-09-27 - Don and I wear faggy clothes.
2006-09-22 - Love Letter
2006-09-18 - If you wheel your cart down the straight and narrow, you'll never have to stop and take the wheels off.
2006-09-13 - Tiny fluffy kitty: 1, Cold cruel world: 0
2006-08-31 - -
2006-08-26 - -
2006-08-15 - -
2006-08-10 - -
2006-08-03 - Festival. Something. Shutup. Nevermind.
2006-07-28 - Maybe you should take it up with Mister Laser
2006-07-28 - -
2006-07-25 - This is for my disassembled homies.
2006-07-21 - “ I couldn't help it. It just popped IN there.” “What? What just popped in there?” “I... I... I tried to think...” “LOOK!” “No! It CAN'T be!” “What is it?” “It CAN'T be!” “What did you do, Ray?” “Oh, shit!”
2006-07-19 - Grapefruit!
2006-07-14 - I am a whirlwind of updating activity today, a goddamn WHIRLWIND.
2006-07-14 - -
2006-07-13 - Take cover.
2006-07-11 - Cha cha cha. Or something. Shutup.
2006-07-06 - Now you know how I feel, cupcake.
2006-06-30 - Can you blow me where the Pampers is?
2006-06-27 - -
2006-06-26 - If I ain't happy, ain't NOBODY gonna be happy.
2006-06-21 - Wretched and foul in a whole new way.
2006-06-18 - Wretched and foul
2006-06-11 - Cough hack ugh.
2006-06-05 - "I'm sorry" "Yes, yes you are." "What?" "Nothing."
2006-06-02 - The dishes are done, man.
2006-06-02 - Bitches like texts.
2006-05-22 - Not on Rex Manning Day!
2006-05-18 - Dude looks like a lady. Or something.
2006-05-17 - And how exactly did we get here?
2006-05-16 - We seek out the taciturn.
2006-05-10 - -
2006-05-10 - Even through snow pants.
2006-05-08 - MMMPHYMMMPHY!
2006-05-05 - IT'S NOT OKAY. IF YOU WERE A DOG, I'D KICK YOU RIGHT IN THE FACE.
2006-04-26 - Dwayne was a widower.
2006-04-13 - I spent the night in Utah in a cave up in the hills.
2006-04-12 - I wanna rock.
2006-04-10 - It's good that I don't have access to a gun.
2006-04-05 - Awesome.
2006-04-04 - SCIENCE ROCKS!
2006-04-04 - Crapulence and nonsense.
2006-04-03 - U to the gh.
2006-03-30 - That Coppertone kid has nothing on me.
2006-03-28 - I'm so retro.
2006-03-21 - Little horns that go "beep beep beep"
2006-03-20 - I (don't) wanna be your dog (, Sugar).
2006-03-19 - Delusion, thy name is Cat Lover.
2006-03-12 - Oooooh, it's 40 below, and I don't give a fuck, there's a heater in my truck, and I'm off to the rodeo!
2006-03-11 - You're no special agent! You're just a jerk who doesn't like my moustache!
2006-03-09 - In which Our Diarist kills Time.
2006-02-28 - Trip gently into mental illness.
2006-02-28 - P.S. You're adopted and nobody likes you.
2006-02-28 - But I'm a boy cat!
2006-02-28 - Going, going, gone.
2006-02-26 - Feet up, pat him on the popo.
2006-02-22 - Froze to the bone in my igloo home, counting the days `til the ice turns green.
2006-02-15 - I'm just saying.
2006-02-14 - Why Dogs Are Better Than Cats, Chapter 675,802: Trying New Things
2006-02-13 - -
2006-02-09 - Um, huh.
2006-02-09 - Win win windmill escapade.
2006-02-06 - And the entries just keep coming! Sure, they're lame entries, but whatever.
2006-02-06 - Entry, the second. A number of hours later, and not much in the way of sense-making.
2006-02-06 - Quit calling me old, or I'll beat you with my cane. Har har har. Ugh.
2006-02-04 - When I think aboooooout you, I...well, you know.
2006-02-02 - In which we discuss Idiocy in Many Forms
2006-01-29 - This IS my happy face.
2006-01-26 - Eyes up here, buddy.
2006-01-25 - Mares eat oats, and as it turns out, so do does. Who knew?
2006-01-23 - Girls have a button, boys have a pole, and wicked touching will take its toll.
2006-01-23 - Vice-president in Charge of Volcanoes
2006-01-20 - Houston, we have a problem.
2006-01-20 - This is the entry that never ennnnnnnds, it just goes on and on and theeeeeeeeen...
2006-01-08 - Better late than pregnant, as it were.
2006-01-03 - Ooooh no! There goes Tokyo! Go, go, Godzilla! Whooooooaaaa!
2006-01-01 - Happy...zzzzzzzzz
2005-12-30 - The longest entry ever in the history of long-ass entries.
2005-12-23 - Er, oops.
2005-12-23 - There's a bathroom on the right.
2005-12-22 - I could try explaining it with finger puppets, but I suspect you still wouldn't get it.
2005-12-21 - Perfection.
2005-12-13 - -
2005-12-12 - Happy Christmahanakwanzaka to yooooouuuuuuu!
2005-12-06 - *VOMIT*
2005-11-30 - Just, like, you know, some stuff and stuff. Or something. You know?
2005-11-24 - I'd probably be happier in a plastic bubble. Just me and John Travolta, chillin' in our germ-free environment.
2005-11-22 - It's like a...a...Chicken Kid!
2005-11-21 - Cat weirdness.
2005-11-16 - Not so fresh.
2005-11-10 - I am not one of your fans!
2005-11-02 - ...And then there were four again. Again. Or something.
2005-11-01 - ...And then there were three. Again.
2005-11-01 - You know what? Who the fuck cares? I like my cat better than most men anyway.
2005-10-27 - Take THAT, you goddamn Q-Tip! Ha ha!
2005-10-25 - In which our misguided Heroine learns that Postal Workers are not in possesion of a functioning sense of Humor.
2005-10-21 - Help me.
2005-10-18 - Take this job and...
2005-10-10 - Defeat.
2005-10-05 - I HAVE A GREAT NEED...to use the bathroom.
2005-09-23 - What a dance do they do, lordy how I'm telling you
2005-09-15 - ...and then the one guy in the hat said to the other guy in the hat...
2005-09-09 - What the fuck is "Smath?"
2005-08-30 - My head is a box full of nothing, and that's the way I like it.
2005-08-22 - Little boxes made of ticky-tacky
2005-08-17 - Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it's usually something unusual.
2005-08-11 - WHY IS THERE BACON IN MY SOAP?!
2005-08-08 - A car in every garage, a chicken in every pot, and TWO toilets in every house! The American fucking DREAM!
2005-08-02 - Innnnnn the Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room, in the Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room...
2005-07-25 - Don't tease me about my hobbies. I don't tease you about being an asshole.
2005-07-16 - -
2005-07-06 - -
2005-07-06 - I'm trying to build a robot this family can be proud of!
2005-06-27 - Everyfins pucka, just pucka.
2005-06-24 - Nearer, my 2005, unto thee.
2005-06-22 - Oh boy
2005-06-20 - Clean, lemony-fresh victory is MINE!
2005-06-19 - YARD SALE! HUZZAH!
2005-06-14 - This just in...
2005-06-05 - Mmmm...nerdiness.
2005-06-03 - My right earlobe itches. Sure, it's not much in the way of a title, but at least it's honest.
2005-06-01 - Mmm...cookie!
2005-05-24 - Balls Part II
2005-05-21 - -
2005-05-18 - Click click bloody click, PANCAKES!
2005-05-16 - Freakin' sweet.
2005-05-14 - I'd rather be famous than righteous or holy.
2005-05-12 - HOT TIP OF THE DAY!
2005-05-12 - If you say "Ferris Bueller," you lose a testicle.
2005-05-04 - WTF, MATE?!
2005-04-22 - OHEMGEEHOORAY!
2005-04-21 - Click with Dick
2005-04-14 - More stars than prostitutes in Thailand
2005-04-10 - ANUS ON WHEELS
2005-04-09 - AWESOMENESS
2005-04-08 - Help!
2005-04-07 - So, okay...
2005-04-07 - NOW can I move to Canada?
2005-04-05 - One of us! One of us! One of us!
2005-04-02 - More fun clowns.
2005-03-23 - -
2005-03-23 - Not much in the way of funny, I'm afraid.
2005-03-16 - -
2005-03-06 - In two weeks you'll have a diamond.
2005-03-04 - Fucking fuckity fuck and fuck.
2005-03-04 - The dishes are done.
2005-02-26 - Your aura is brown! What a stupid thing to say!
2005-02-23 - Top copy...customer?
2005-02-22 - Shiny!
2005-02-16 - BAH.
2005-02-13 - Top Copy Merchant
2005-02-02 - Damn you, Julia Roberts!
2005-01-27 - BAH SQUARED
2005-01-25 - That's my official deeeeecal!!
2005-01-19 - Break it down (Fish sandwich!)
2005-01-10 - The sponge is bad.
2005-01-05 - Hot dog nog and other atrocities.
2004-12-29 - a short description of this entry for the "older links" page:
2004-12-23 - Two weeks. You can't wait TWO MORE STUPID WEEKS FOR THIS SHIT,NATURE?!? YOU REALLY CAN'T?!!? ASSHOLE.
2004-12-21 - Thank you, my own personal Santa Claus.
2004-12-21 - Thank you, my own personal Santa Claus.
2004-12-19 - A scooter?! Mary, this is a Vespa!
2004-12-14 - So, yeah, this is much better.
2004-12-06 - Not so much.
2004-11-22 - Nothing to see here, folks. Move along.
2004-11-18 - Well, alright.
2004-11-16 - 11
2004-11-15 - Ooooh, baby, I like it raw.
2004-11-15 - Just, you know, some stuff.
2004-11-11 - And now for something completely different...
2004-11-10 - Ugh. Seriously. UGH.
2004-11-06 - And more hmmmm...
2004-11-05 - Hmmm
2004-11-03 - Boooooorrrrrrred.
2004-11-03 - -
2004-11-02 - For the people, BY the goddamn people.
2004-10-29 - Angst, smiling kids, depression, and junk.
2004-10-27 - Old people, colons, and bran! Oh my!
2004-10-25 - -
2004-10-21 - All your base are belong to DEGRASSI.
2004-10-19 - Bitter.
2004-10-14 - Inspirado!
2004-10-13 - -
2004-10-09 - NO SLEP
2004-10-07 - Heh
2004-10-07 - Lazy-ass, non-bill-paying motherfuckers.
2004-10-04 - YAY!
2004-10-02 - -
2004-09-30 - HATE. YOU.
2004-09-29 - -
2004-09-29 - My mouth runneth over
2004-09-29 - Cheeeeeeeses from around the world
2004-09-28 - -
2004-09-28 - LET'S GO RIDE BIKES!
2004-09-25 - EL MOTHINGFUCKING DEBARGE
2004-09-23 - Pervert.
2004-09-22 - Childhood revisited
2004-09-21 - "Who's Johnny?" she said, and smiled in that special way. "Who's Johnny? " she said, "You know I love you!"
2004-09-17 - This is the end, my beautiful friend.
2004-09-16 - -
2004-09-16 - OH EM GEE!
2004-09-14 - BLECH
2004-09-14 - I might like you better if we slept together.
2004-09-13 - There is a time for happiness. That time is NOT 7A.M.
2004-09-10 - A town called Malice.
2004-09-08 - Shortest, weirdest call ever.
2004-09-07 - And she stepped on the baaaaalllll
2004-09-02 - This is the stair where I always stop.
2004-09-01 - Hard cheeses for a hard journey.
2004-08-30 - -
2004-08-27 - -
2004-08-27 - -
2004-08-23 - Shuff tapple tapple fart.
2004-08-20 - -
2004-08-19 - Go robot, it's your birthday.
2004-08-16 - Stupid panic attacks
2004-08-15 - Still.....old.....FRIEND.
2004-08-13 - Loser kitty.
2004-08-12 - CATS! HUZZAH!
2004-08-11 - And people wonder why I can't get a date
2004-08-10 - The Idiot-Milk Cavalcade of Thrills
2004-08-09 - -
2004-08-07 - -
2004-08-06 - Idiot-Milk's Life: Now with 37% less suck!
2004-08-02 - -
2004-07-30 - Very homosexually.
2004-07-28 - Knowing the cause of the trouble, and being able to do anything about it are two ENTIRELY FUCKING DIFFERENT THINGS.
2004-07-26 - In which we learn why Idiot-Milk will someday Lose Her Shit completely, and gun down a crowd of Mongoloid Fucksticks.
2004-07-25 - I did it like this, and I did it like that, somethingsomethingsomething, wiffle ball bat.
2004-07-24 - Catching up on correspondence. Wait. correspondance? Fuck it. Spelling is stupid.
2004-07-22 - I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, that much is true.
2004-07-20 - Die.
2004-07-19 - Ow. I said OW, goddamnit.
2004-07-18 - She Fought Alone (And if you know where that title came from, you are totally my new best friend. If you know it WITHOUT Googling it, that is. Cheaters)
2004-07-15 - sniff
2004-07-13 - Stupid piece of crap bird.
2004-07-12 - Make it stop, DEAR JESUS, MAKE IT STOP
2004-07-12 - ASDLKFAJSDL;KFJAS;DLKFJASD;LK and shit.
2004-07-11 - Shut it.
2004-07-11 - Fuck you, Barnacle Bill! Ha ha!
2004-07-10 - My little eye
2004-07-10 - Do NOT touch!!!!
2004-07-09 - Stupid twat computer
2004-07-07 - BAH.
2004-07-07 - My blue jeans is tight. so onto my love rocket climb.
2004-07-06 - I like to move it, move it.
2004-07-02 - Take...what? Take 3? 4? Something. Shutup. Mistakes were made.
2004-07-02 - Eeee!
2004-07-02 - Okay everybody! Commence to jigglin'!
2004-06-30 - Fug.
2004-06-28 - -
2004-06-28 - -
2004-06-25 - Tee hee!
2004-06-22 - Any port in a storm?
2004-06-21 - Being the adventures of a young man whose principal interests are rape, ultra-violence and Beethoven
2004-06-21 - Some are silver, and some are gold.
2004-06-21 - Sharks patrol these waters
2004-06-19 - If you wheel your cart down the straight and narrow, you'll never have to stop and take the wheels off.
2004-06-18 - Don't steal, and don't be disturbed.
2004-06-18 - Don't steal, and don't be disturbed.
2004-06-18 - Don't steal, and don't be disturbed.
2004-06-17 - SUPER. REALLY.
2004-06-16 - I'd like ranch dressing covered in cheese with a side of ranch dressing for dipping purposes. Oh, and could you deep fry the living hell out of that? Thanks.
2004-06-15 - InfuckingDEED.
2004-06-14 - Bloody typical, they've gone back to metric without telling us.
2004-06-10 - Why, your mama, Steve! Now bring me the axe!
2004-06-09 - Well, look. I mean, is he gonna be able to chase us? Cause if I woke up lookin' like that, I would just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it.
2004-06-07 - I bring you...MORE CORN!
2004-06-07 - I bring you...MORE CORN!
2004-06-04 - Cough Syrup! Hooray!
2004-06-03 - -
2004-05-28 - Fortunately, I'm adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug, uh, regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber.
2004-05-28 - -
2004-05-25 - Well, hello, Ms. Random McRandompants!
2004-05-23 - The clowning.
2004-05-22 - You say "high maintenance", but I suspect what you really mean is "insane."
2004-05-20 - All good things, etc.
2004-05-18 - I said "kiddle-ee", diddle I?
2004-05-17 - More fun clowns.
2004-05-14 - -
2004-05-14 - And then she STEPPED on the BAAAAALLLL!
2004-05-14 - Ew times infinity
2004-05-10 - Make all your fat fleshy fingers to moving
2004-05-10 - B double E double R U N! BEERRUN! BEERRUN!
2004-05-09 - Keep in touch
2004-05-09 - -
2004-05-04 - Do you have these in navy? I need to find shoes to go with my midget.
2004-05-03 - FUCK YOU TIMES INFINITY PLUS NINE, ASSHOLES.
2004-05-02 - Does someone hab a twab on? Hmmm? Who's a wittle twabby today? Is YOU a wittle twabby?
2004-05-01 - I love those goofy bastards.
2004-04-29 - If you've been dating girls with "corners", you've got bigger issues than finding the clitoris, fucko.
2004-04-26 - What do you suppose THIS does?
2004-04-26 - She had rings on her fingers and bells on her shoes.
2004-04-25 - Don't double ball the pin boy.
2004-04-23 - -
2004-04-23 - EVERYTHING MUST GO
2004-04-22 - -
2004-04-20 - -
2004-04-18 - Oh, go eat a bug.
2004-04-18 - Roses smell like...poo poo? The fuck?!
2004-04-15 - If assholes had wings...
2004-04-14 - MY KINGDOM FOR A PHOSPHATE! A CHERRY/VANILLA PHOSPHATE!
2004-04-12 - Ode to a vitamin supplement guaranteed to increase the size of a certain male organ.
2004-04-12 - THAN WHAT, MOTHERFUCKER?! THAN WHAT?!
2004-04-11 - -
2004-04-10 - Delicious fried chicken and delicious orange soda.
2004-04-09 - Blahblahblahblahblah and blah.
2004-04-06 - Why I hate Stupid People and Foreigners, or, alternatively, Why I Will Not Likely Survive This New Job Without Killing Someone Else or Myself
2004-04-05 - I H-H-H-H-H-HATE YOU.
2004-04-04 - Bah squared.
2004-03-31 - Cold blooded jelly donut
2004-03-29 - -
2004-03-26 - If you're lazy and you know it, clap your hands! Or, you know, don't. Clapping takes too much effort. Just, like, nod or something. Or blink.
2004-03-24 - Fuck. OFF. Wait, no, I love you! No, wait. FUCK OFF. No, I love you! NO! FUCK OFF! GO TO HELL! GIVE ME A HUG! I LOVE YOU! I HATE YOU! DIE! HERE'S A COOKIE!
2004-03-22 - Holy shit.
2004-03-21 - Hmph.
2004-03-20 - ROLLIN'! ROLLIN'! ROLLIN' ON THE RIVER!
2004-03-20 - Broadcasing LIVE from the banks of the Great Grey-Green Greasy Limpopo River!
2004-03-19 - -
2004-03-17 - TOO MUCH INFORMATION...CAN'T PROCESS...BRAIN...MELTING...
2004-03-16 - So. Fucking. Tired.
2004-03-14 - EVERYTHING IS STUPID. AND GAY. AND STUPID. AND I HATE YOU. AND YOU'RE ALSO STUPID. AND DID I MENTION THAT EVERYTHING IS STUPID? BECAUSE IT IS!
2004-03-13 - Pringles and bankers and lesbians! Oh my!
2004-03-12 - Fuck you, Mr. Bunny. Mr. Chicken, suck my dick and frankly I don't care.
2004-03-11 - Put that thing back where it came from! So help me! So help me!
2004-03-11 - HELL YES, I ORDERED THE CODE RED
2004-03-08 - You take the good, you take the bad, you take it all and there you have the facts of life! The facts of life! Something something something something! Blah.
2004-03-06 - Lucky Charms? Lucky. Fucking. Charms?!
2004-03-05 - It's not much, but at least it's crappy!
2004-03-04 - -
2004-03-04 - And the hits keep coming.
2004-03-02 - I'm a lone cowpoke in the Rio Grande. Yippee Aye Oh Kye Ay.
2004-03-01 - -
2004-03-01 - Uma, Oprah, Uma, Oprah, Uma, Oprah, Uma, Oprah, Uma, Oprah, Uma, Oprah.
2004-02-28 - -
2004-02-28 - I'm up, I'm down, I'm up, I'm down, I'm dizzy with all the mood changes. What a weird week.
2004-02-27 - Issue 27
2004-02-27 - -
2004-02-26 - -
2004-02-25 - Oh ho! Brilliance strikes AGAIN!
2004-02-21 - Yay me!
2004-02-20 - OOK! No, I don' t know what that means. Hush up.
2004-02-20 - Badass motherfucker!
2004-02-19 - Strange things afoot at the Circle K.
2004-02-18 - Mongoloids, assholes, and dipshits...OH MY!
2004-02-14 - BEST. SHOES. EVER.
2004-02-14 - Shake it, come on and shake it like a crack baby..
2004-02-14 - Oh, and also...?
2004-02-13 - Because it already is.
2004-02-13 - Oh. Well, huh.
2004-02-12 - Blahdiddy blahdiddy blah.
2004-02-11 - It's EXTREME!
2004-02-10 - And it all comes down to this...
2004-02-07 - Plans!
2004-02-07 - Hello, Dad. Happy Birthday. I'm in JAIL. And I LIKE it here.
2004-02-07 - Mouthful of ass.
2004-02-06 - I want to touch the tender part.
2004-02-06 - John Romero Will Make You His Bitch
2004-02-03 - BASTARDS! I HATE YOU ALL!
2004-02-02 - -
2004-01-29 - It is the end, my beautiful friend.
2004-01-28 - Dear jesus, make the pictures STOP!
2004-01-28 - Vaginer.
2004-01-26 - Do what now? Do what now? Do what now? Do what now? Do what now? Do what now? Do what now? Do what now? Do what now? Do what now? Do what now? Do what now? Do what now? Do what now?
2004-01-24 - It is a dark day indeed, my friends.
2004-01-22 - Stupid static electricity. Stupid cold weather. Stupid winter. Stupid EVERYTHING.
2004-01-21 - -
2004-01-21 - Entry, the second. In which we witness the quick and painful downward spiral into madness and neurosis.
2004-01-21 - Some people should simply not be allowed to procreate. Bastards.
2004-01-19 - I DON'T UNDERSTAND! SOMEONE HELP ME UNDERSTAND!
2004-01-19 - -
2004-01-19 - It's fine. I'm not mad. Except that I totally AM mad. But I shouldn't be, so I'll just forget it. Except that I can't because I'm pretty sure I should be mad. Bah.
2004-01-18 - I think, were I to have kids, they would be like this one.
2004-01-17 - Ack.
2004-01-16 - Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!
2004-01-15 - My inner evil is no match for nuns.
2004-01-14 - We'll moisten your dreams with man-urine.
2004-01-13 - Sticking pencils in potatoes since 1972.
2004-01-11 - Ceeen-eee-ma-tek!
2004-01-10 - It's simply a matter of adjusting your perception, is all.
2004-01-07 - Hep me hep me, I been hyp-mo-tized.
2004-01-05 - Why can't they see that I'm only doing it because I care? WHY AREN'T THEY MORE CONCERNED ABOUT THEIR KIDNEYS, DAMNIT?! WHY, GOD, WHY?!
2004-01-04 - -
2004-01-04 - Damn you.
2004-01-04 - Eh.
2004-01-04 - EASY, KILLER.
2004-01-04 - You what the what off of me?!
2004-01-03 - If you're intolerant and you know it, clap your hands! Yeehaw!
2004-01-03 - Nothing like pain killers and hot chocolate to put the spring back in your step!
2004-01-03 - Color me weak and pathetic, but I want my mommy.
2004-01-02 - It is the 90's and there is time for...KLAX!
2004-01-01 - It WILL be happy, goddamnit.
2003-12-31 - Ringing in the new year with a "Oh fuck off" and a "Go straight to hell. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Go directly to hell."
2003-12-30 - Son of Well, fuck. Part II. Now with 50% more inscrutable Japanese super cuteness!
2003-12-29 - Countdown to slothery!
2003-12-28 - Ew squared.
2003-12-26 - Yay for nice policepersons!
2003-12-24 - Have a happy, fuckers.
2003-12-24 - Shutup. Shutup, shutup, SHUT. UP.
2003-12-21 - The Christmas spirit runs fierce and deep in me this season.
2003-12-20 - GLUB! The Face That Launched A Thousand Torpedoes!
2003-12-19 - -
2003-12-19 - Blink blink. Blink blink.
2003-12-19 - BQ or plain? BQ!!!
2003-12-18 - Goddamn killing me.
2003-12-17 - CanIgetsomefriiiiiiieeesss with that shakeshake, booby?
2003-12-17 - MINE MINE MINE ALL MINE, Part II
2003-12-16 - My baby.
2003-12-16 - Whatever it fucking takes.
2003-12-15 - MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE ALL MINE! EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE IS ALL MINE!
2003-12-14 - I am filled with nothing but sweetness and light today! Sweetness and light!
2003-12-12 - FAME! I'm gonna live forever, I'm gonna learn how to fly! HIGH!
2003-12-12 - I have found my one twu wuv.
2003-12-12 - I need to replace my lightbulbs. I really do.
2003-12-11 - Christ-tron will save us!
2003-12-11 - Let the ass-whoopin' commence.
2003-12-09 - Tony Blair? Hmmm...he's that guy who sells fitness equipment on the television, right?
2003-12-07 - I'm too sexy for this laboratory! Too sexy for this laboratory!
2003-12-06 - Rats.
2003-12-06 - God grant me the somethingsomething to somethingorother and...oh, fuck it. God grant me a gun and some whiskey and a shovel to bury the bodies with.
2003-12-04 - N TO THE EENER AND A HAHAHA, FUCK YOU!
2003-12-04 - Son of a bitch.
2003-12-03 - Please die. And if you could do it in a particularly painful and gory manner, I would really appreciate it. Thanks!
2003-12-02 - I told you I loved you, now get out! Cha-ch-ch-cha-ch-ch-cha! I told you I loved you, NOW GET OUT! Cha-ch-ch-cha-ch-ch-CHA!
2003-12-01 - na na na na na na na na
2003-12-01 - BEST. DAY. EVER. YAY!
2003-11-29 - THIS BOAT IS OBVIOUSLY SINKING.
2003-11-28 - Pleasant/Annoying/Pleasant/Annoying
2003-11-26 - Mmmm...tryptophan
2003-11-25 - -
2003-11-24 - If you're an asshole and you know it, clap your hands! *CLAPCLAP* If you're an asshole and you know it, clap your hands. *CLAPCLAP* If you're an asshole and you know it, and you really want to show it, if you're an asshole and you
2003-11-22 - bibbity bobbity fuckity offity! hooray! oh shutup.
2003-11-21 - DON'T POKE THE GODDAMN BEAR IN THE GODDAMN CAGE
2003-11-20 - RUN! Don't walk! And see this movie!
2003-11-19 - Well, hell.
2003-11-19 - Ho ho freakin' ho.
2003-11-19 - BOINGBOINGBOINGBOINGSPLAT!
2003-11-16 - Nort Snuggler!
2003-11-16 - alphabetagammadeltaepsilon
2003-11-15 - Rodent Station #2
2003-11-14 - Burn `em. Burn `em all.
2003-11-13 - In which the Voice takes over, a division of Sloth and State is achieved, and Things start Crevulating. Or, alternatively, The Peptalk.
2003-11-11 - (I'm totally addicted to bass)
2003-11-11 - Camelooooouuuuuuunnnnge! Huzzah!
2003-11-11 - Like juice, only better!
2003-11-11 - Mmmm...Hawaiian Punch and Purple Medicine
2003-11-09 - Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world. She took the midnight train going anywhere.
2003-11-07 - Just last night I was reminded of just how bad it had gotten and just how sick I had become.
2003-11-05 - Now that is just about enough of THAT.
2003-11-05 - Shave his belly with a rusty razor.
2003-11-03 - Oh, Puppy Goo Goo, fetch me a dream.
2003-11-01 - Bela Lugosi's dead.
2003-10-31 - Psst!
2003-10-31 - PissshitfuckbitchasscuntbastardmotherfuckergoddamnitFUCK.
2003-10-30 - Bastards.
2003-10-29 - Skin tags.
2003-10-27 - I could teach you, but I'd have to charge. Lala la la laaaa.
2003-10-26 - Shit.
2003-10-24 - Goddamnit. As always.
2003-10-24 - Smack it up, flip it, rub it down...Oooooh noooo!
2003-10-22 - Mmmm
2003-10-22 - "Cutting Class" is Brad Pitt's finest work, I really think so. If you have not seen this movie, RUN! DON'T WALK! and go get it!
2003-10-19 - Sometimes it requires a certain amount of creativity to make the time go by at work.
2003-10-18 - You sicken me.
2003-10-17 - Mmmm...trail mixy goodness.
2003-10-17 - Something something something, and something. Also something. Or, rather, nothing. Either way. Oh shutup.
2003-10-17 - Hallopallooza!
2003-10-17 - What we have here is a failure to communicate.
2003-10-16 - Truly truly truly I want you. Truly truly truly I dooooooo.
2003-10-14 - YAY FOR PRESENTS!
2003-10-14 - Naaarrrrrrf!
2003-10-13 - Robots in tutus! Oh my!
2003-10-13 - A little of this, a little of that. Mostly a whole big fat lot of nothin'.
2003-10-12 - Hmph
2003-10-11 - Er
2003-10-10 - Such a ruckus
2003-10-10 - GoddamnmotherfuckersonofabitchshitdamnFUCK
2003-10-10 - Grrr
2003-10-09 - Nightline with Lynnda Idiot-Milk
2003-10-08 - Ahoy, meaty
2003-10-08 - With a hey non nonny and a ha cha cha.
2003-10-07 - Tee `em up, boys, tee `em up.
2003-10-06 - Lip my stockings! LIP MY STOCKINGS! LIP MY STOCKINGS! HERP ME PREASE! OH PREASE HERP ME!
2003-10-04 - Bugger squared.
2003-10-03 - Crappity crap crap and crap.
2003-10-02 - Bah.
2003-10-01 - Or something.
2003-09-30 - Entry, the second, Or "Feng Shui Refrigerator" by Lynnda Leu.
2003-09-30 - Bugger.
2003-09-29 - Some people SHOULD die.
2003-09-28 - Spicy chicken crime stoppers.
2003-09-26 - Ah ha, hush that fuss. Everybody move to the back of the bus.
2003-09-26 - I took a fish head out to see a movie. Didn't have to pay to get him in.
2003-09-25 - Issues, people. Many many issues.
2003-09-24 - Public Service Announcement
2003-09-24 - Fish, plankton, sea greens... protein from the sea!
2003-09-23 - BLASPHEMY
2003-09-22 - Hello, Carmine.
2003-09-21 - Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and blah. Also blah. And blah. Blah.
2003-09-21 - Nng.
2003-09-20 - Maybe it's just me. Probably just me. Sigh.
2003-09-19 - Sometimes 'nothin' can be a real cool hand. In THIS instance, however, IT FUCKING BLOWS.
2003-09-19 - Apparently, I didn't escape my ultra-conservative, republican upbringing unscathed.
2003-09-18 - f to the uck to the
2003-09-17 - Have you ever heard of Plato? Aristotle? Socrates? Morons.
2003-09-15 - My sister wears too much eye makeup, and people think she's a whore.
2003-09-15 - Henshin-a-go-go, baby.
2003-09-14 - Guns may not kill people, but I will, given half a chance.
2003-09-12 - Entry, the eleventy millionth.
2003-09-11 - I have had too much caffeine today.
2003-09-11 - A child in my front yard, and I didn't throw ONE single rock at it. Will wonders never cease.
2003-09-11 - Oh, for FUCK'S sake.
2003-09-11 - Entry, the second.
2003-09-10 - Two no trump
2003-09-08 - Alas, poor Smoothie Pro, we barely knew ye.
2003-09-05 - Mmmm...s'mores and liquor!
2003-09-04 - Is actually pretty good book.
2003-09-04 - What's the plural of "ho?" Hoes? Ho's? It's a conundrum.
2003-09-03 - The thing is, no matter what they say, they ALWAYS come back.
2003-09-02 - It's like this and like that and like this and uh.
2003-09-02 - That's damn peculiar.
2003-08-29 - I hear the rain, I hear the rain, I hear the rain, Gotta kill the pain.
2003-08-29 - Now whoop God's ass, my friend.
2003-08-28 - Sick, dude.
2003-08-27 - Some boring shit, followed by some even more boring shit.
2003-08-27 - Yellow No. 5
2003-08-26 - TWO entries today! TWO! You lucky little monkeys.
2003-08-26 - I can't even look myself in the eye anymore.
2003-08-25 - She's a tart, Larry.
2003-08-25 - Home again, home again.
2003-08-21 - Gerbils, goddamnit, I swear to god.
2003-08-20 - Particle man, particle man
2003-08-19 - N.O.T.D.
2003-08-19 - Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I'm only falling apart
2003-08-18 - I am a dork, but I am the best damn dork I can be. Surely that has to count for SOMETHING.
2003-08-15 - I can't help but think that all bugs everywhere are out to get me.
2003-08-15 - It is a far better thing that I do today than I have ever done before. Sort of. Or something. Shutup.
2003-08-14 - Anybody want a peanut?
2003-08-14 - I've been working on a piece that speaks of sex and desperation.
2003-08-13 - Tame those lip weasels, ladies!
2003-08-13 - The calls are coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!
2003-08-12 - -
2003-08-12 - I've seen a lot of sexually perverse photographs involving tennis rackets.
2003-08-12 - Insert wordless moan indicating pain and misery HERE
2003-08-12 - Heh.
2003-08-12 - Enjoy, slackers.
2003-08-12 - I slay me, I really do.
2003-08-11 - Eh. It's another rant. Go figure.
2003-08-10 - I just don't understand you people sometimes. I really don't.
2003-08-09 - One of those days.
2003-08-08 - Helping people better themselves since 1972!
2003-08-06 - godfuckingDAMNIT
2003-08-06 - Thems professional nostrils, boy.
2003-08-04 - FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY, MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!
2003-08-04 - Feh.
2003-08-03 - Mmmm...chocolatey hazelnutty buttery goodness
2003-08-03 - Like a law enforcement cheetah.
2003-08-01 - Bubble bath! Hooray!
2003-08-01 - That can't be right. Six? Huh.
2003-07-30 - Fuck that noise. Fucking pansy. Bah.
2003-07-30 - Blech.
2003-07-29 - In which we learn, once again, that Lynnda is completely frivolous and incapable of deep or profound thought
2003-07-28 - Heaven is not ready for one such as myself.
2003-07-27 - I AM A GIRL! GODDAMN YOU ALL, A GIRL!
2003-07-27 - ack.
2003-07-25 - AVAST, ME HEARTIES!
2003-07-24 - FINE! FINEFINEFINEFINEFINE! HAHAHA! I'M FINE, I TELL YA! FINE! HA!
2003-07-22 - Super. Just fucking SUPER.
2003-07-21 - goddamn stupid weather
2003-07-19 - Puke.
2003-07-17 - I've had better days.
2003-07-15 - Move the heart, switch the pace.
2003-07-14 - PUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET!!
2003-07-12 - Intrepid little ghetto children
2003-07-11 - I'm not obsessive/compulsive! I'm not obsessive/compulsive! I'm not obsessive/compulsive! (I have to say that three times or else something terrible will happen to me)
2001-07-17 - When they do the double dutch, that's them dancing.
2003-07-08 - In which we are taught to recognize the extreme foolishness of blurting out impertinent questions to crabby girls with claws.
2001-07-15 - No naked boobies or sno-cones for thepeople needing naked boobies and sno-cones.
2003-07-07 - I, my children, am a giver. A goddamn selfless giver.
2001-07-13 - You stupid, tacky women with your goddamn pantsuits will be the death of me yet.
2003-07-04 - FUCK. YOU.
2003-07-03 - I hate you.
2003-07-03 - -
2003-07-02 - In which it is revealed why dangerously hot boys need to maintain a distance of at least 50 feet from sexually frustrated retards who work in the mall.
2003-06-30 - blarg.
2003-06-27 - It's a sucky thing, it's a sucky kind of thing.
2003-06-26 - Surely buttons have some sort of nutritional value.
2001-07-01 - My genius is rarely appreciated.
2003-06-20 - The Interview, or...Why I Will Never Find a Job. By Lynnda Idiot-Milk
2003-06-20 - -
2003-06-19 - No way.
2003-06-19 - Billy Ocean is criminally gay.
2003-06-19 - Crappy week
2003-06-18 - If I weren't me, I would totally ask me out. And probably try to cop a feel, too, or whatever.
2003-06-18 - Goddamn Japanese; what the hell? And also FUCK YOU, old people. I need a nap.
2003-06-17 - Oh dear jesus, is my time in retail hell nearly over? Is that a light at the end of the tunnel I see?!
2003-06-15 - Astronauts are dickheads.
2003-06-14 - HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
2003-06-13 - Get me a goddamn helmet.
2003-06-12 - Someone has to love the Down's Syndrome sweatshop kids.
2003-06-10 - Hmm
2003-06-09 - People are too easy.
2003-06-09 - People are too easy.
2003-06-08 - Who is InterNate, and why is he giving out my details? Bastard.
2003-06-08 - Stroke victims and retards.
2003-06-04 - Ugh
2003-06-03 - The third, and I sweartogod last entry. Well. At least for as long as it takes me to nap a bit.
2003-06-03 - Bonus, second, day-off entry involving quizzes and, well, quizzes.
2003-06-03 - Bret Michaels, you devious little homo.
2003-06-01 - Last night, today, and beyond.
2003-05-30 - Funny stuff
2003-05-30 - Ain't nothin in the world that can't be fixed with a little inappropriate lesbian fondling.
2003-05-29 - Fuck you with the happy and the being in love bullshit.
2003-05-28 - ouch
2003-05-28 - That Mary really knows how to party.
2003-05-23 - Blech
2003-05-23 - -
2003-05-23 - Get on getting on.
2003-05-22 - -
2003-05-22 - I'm so totally sophisticated and stuff.
2003-05-21 - Oh, hey, nosebleed! Gottagotalktoyoulaterbye!
2003-05-20 - JAAAAAAACKAAAAAAAASSSSSS
2003-05-18 - Has the whole world gone mad?
2003-05-17 - Confirming what we already knew
2003-05-17 - SO. GODDAMN. LUCKY.
2003-05-15 - Replacement what? Ew.
2003-05-13 - Blarg! Brofletar!
2003-05-10 - Guh.
2003-05-09 - TMI
2003-05-07 - Hemorrhoid? What?
2003-05-07 - Hemorrhoid? What?
2003-05-06 - Give til it hurts, people.
2003-05-05 - What the fuck.
2003-05-03 - Part II
2003-05-03 - I'm lame, I spend my Friday nights doing laundry, but at least I've got a fetching vagina.
2003-05-02 - Leonard
2003-05-01 - Dar-EE-uh
2003-04-29 - Who the fuck forgets their underpants?
2003-04-27 - Times like these are when I know for an absolute fact god hates me.
2003-04-26 - It's important to take time out of each day to appreciate all the elderly.
2003-04-24 - The Pubic Conundrum
2003-04-23 - I am so lame. So very, very lame.
2003-04-23 - NEW WORLD ORDER
2003-04-21 - Shutup.
2003-04-21 - The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before that great and notable day of the Lord come. (Acts 2:20)
2003-04-20 - Jesus was a lazy fucker. THREE WHOLE DAYS, JESUS?! Way to procrastinate, dude.
2003-04-19 - three whole days off! boo! yah!
2003-04-17 - how very curious
2003-04-17 - Me, neuroses, and why I might be in a shitload of trouble with the government.
2003-04-16 - situational pussy
2003-04-15 - I can find obscene references in everything.
2003-04-15 - Devious is my middle name.
2003-04-14 - Neurosis is a wonderful thing.
2003-04-14 - whole big bunch o' wrong
2003-04-14 - That'll do, pig.
2003-04-12 - Improved communication leads to a better tomorrow.
2003-04-11 - A cautionary tale.
2003-04-11 - I cannot tell a lie; I really AM retarded.
2003-04-11 - The Specialist
2003-04-10 - PENIS!
2003-04-10 - You know what's funny? Midgets.
2003-04-10 - JUST. HAND. OVER. THE. NICOTINE.
2003-04-09 - Poor, naked midgets.
2003-04-08 - Do as I say, damnit.
2003-04-08 - Poor kitty
2003-04-08 - -
2003-04-08 - Pray for me.
2003-04-08 - One time I ate with my eye.
2003-04-07 - Days off are lovely things indeed.
2003-04-07 - "Let us for to make the sweaty luv"
2003-04-07 - HA! HA HA!
2003-04-07 - Laugh it up, kid, you'll make out.
2003-04-07 - An embarassing story that doesn't involve me! Hooray!
2003-04-07 - wall thingie
2003-04-06 - Who the fuck doesn't like pudding?!
2003-04-06 - A lot.
2003-04-05 - funnyfunnyfunny
2003-04-04 - THE WORLD MUST KNOW!
2003-04-04 - sweet
2003-04-04 - I don't think it's too much to ask.
2003-04-03 - two headed baby? two headed sword? two edged sword? something? fuck?
2003-04-03 - Boggles the mind, it does.
2003-04-02 - Oh happy day. Oh happyhappy goddamn day.
2003-04-01 - ASLKDFJA;SLDKJFA;SLDKFJA;SLDKFJA;LSDKJFA;SKLDJ
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
July & August 2002
June 2002
May 2002
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