Mind you, it's lame, and the two before were lame as well, but whatever.

*****

In the interest of stating the painfully obvious once again, I must tell you that chocolate is delicious.
No really! It is!
I had one of those Dove Promise thingies a little while ago, and I'm still feeling all tingly. Thankfully, I didn't have it with a fountain Diet Coke or I think I my brain might have exploded from all the deliciousness.

*****

My mother is a lunatic. I mean that in the best possible way, of course. I adore the loon, and she makes me smile daily.

My dad had a fairly extensive collection of power tools, and my mother asked us to find homes for them now that he's gone. She'll never use them, and she's in the process of remodeling and redecorating the entire freakin' house, including his workshop. I think she's planning on turning that room into a day spa for her Yorkie or some such. At any rate, my brother posted a bunch of the tools on eBay and told her about the bids he'd gotten so far and explained the whole process to her. This was her response to his message:

"I don't have any concerns or questions as long as you don't sell anything to a serial killer or a gangster, so I don't have to hire a security guard. But, I'm sure you would let me know in advance, right? Okay, so things are moving along and that's good. I need the money so I can take a trip around the world, or to outer space, or maybe just to Las Vegas. Anyway, keep me posted, and I will do likewise.

K-bye.

Sincerely,

Florelda (aka Vernalvious)"

Her name being Diane, we're not entirely sure where either "Florelda" or "Vernalvious" came from, though I think we both agree that they are excellent names. In the past she's also called herself "Sephronia" and "Florence Fern McFartweiler." When we were growing up, she'd tuck little notes from Sephronia or Florence Fern in our lunch bags. Florelda and Vernalvious are new, though.

What a weirdo.

*****

Earlier this evening, while attempting to open a packet of delicious cherry Jell-O, I split the packet in half and showered myself and the entire kitchen in Jell-O powder. I thought I'd cleaned it all up, but I must have missed quite a bit on the floor, because the bottoms of my feet are now stained as red as those of a whore from biblical times. Pertinent to nothing, as always, but I just discovered it, and I thought it was interesting. Although, as I think about it, it isn't really. Soooooo, nevermind. Moving on.

*****

That's really all that I had to say. Carry on and junk.

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